I came across a meme today… a meme that makes me think that well, there it is: I’m officially just a really shitty woman.
The meme suggests that being a woman automatically involves, in no particular order:
- caring too much about people who don’t care about you
- listening too much, especially to people who don’t listen to you
- carrying a lot of pain, and hiding that pain
(Come to think of it, according to the qualities outlined in this meme, Del Griffith would’ve made a fantastic female.)
I want to analyze this meme a little bit.
Item #1: caring too much about people who don’t care about you.
Wow. I don’t think anyone has ever accused me of caring too much about a human being. Caring too much about ideas? Yes. Caring too much about myself? Obviously. But caring too much about people who don’t care about me? What? Why the hell would these people even register on my caring scale? Look. Caring is a lot of work. The few people that I do care about, I feel like I’m constantly dropping the ball at letting them know I care. There’s just no room in my life for people who don’t care about me in the first place. I don’t have energy for that, nor interest. (Nor heart, evidently.)
Item #2: listening too much, especially to people who don’t listen to you.
I barely talk as it is. To get me talking, you need to first earn my trust (not an easy feat). So I don’t really require extra listeners in my life. As for me doing the listening? Well, I’m a bit of a daydreamer, sooooo… I’m not really a very good listener to begin with. So there’s no way you’ll find me listening to someone who wouldn’t return the favour. I don’t come with extra listening capabilities built in. (Though I’m working on it. Sort of.)
Item #3: carrying a lot of pain, and hiding that pain.
Is it just me, or is this kind of vague? What kind of pain are we talking about here? Perhaps this is referring to physical pain, which certainly sucks… but is also difficult to hide. Hmmmm. Considering the fact that all the other points in this meme are kind of feeling-related, this may be talking about emotional pain. Like… carrying other people’s pain? I try to do this for my loved ones. I try to listen to them and shoulder some of their pain, but requires conscious effort on my part and I often fail because honestly I’m too self-absorbed. Or maybe this is talking about having hurt feelings? I can’t remember the last time my feelings were hurt. Occasionally people who have no rapport with me try to hurt my feelings… but these incidents only serve to amuse me; the idea that someone would invest effort in this way. (In fact, I’d be curious to study the motivation behind such an action.) As for those who DO have rapport with me, an existing valued relationship? They do not make an effort to hurt my feelings. So for this reason, I cannot recall the last time my feelings were hurt. (It is also possible that I may simply be an unfeeling monster.) OR is this meme talking about feeling sad because of personal tragedy? Well, I will probably forever be sad about my father’s death, and the loss of my childhood home. The passage of time, really. But I know I too will ultimately become caught up in the wave of time wiping out absolutely everything. Whoa. This is probably also not what that meme was talking about. Perhaps it is referring to the suffering of humankind as a whole? Because really there is pain everywhere, isn’t there? Wow. I have no way of knowing what kind of pain this meme is alluding to. (If you know, please tell me. I am clueless and require your assistance in this matter of becoming wholly female.)
So, there you go. I make a horrible woman. A horrible human being, really. Why anyone would enjoy my company is beyond me. But I’m thankful that I can be myself and there are still a handful of extraordinary people that are reportedly more than okay with this.
So, to recap the aforementioned meme, womanhood inescapably will involve:
- caring too much about people who don’t care about you
- listening too much, especially to people who don’t listen to you
- carrying a lot of pain, and hiding that pain
And so, according to the qualities outlined in this meme, Del Griffith would certainly have made a much better female than I ever could. I will now excuse myself, and hurry off to watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles. (Though of course I am in great danger of further turning into impatient asshole Neal Page.)
A horrible woman. Also, the luckiest.